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Broken Wings

(For those who survived the Residential School System or for those who need to find a way to heal)

A fine day for a child to rise with the sun, trees, wind, warmth from the sun rays and most of all with the Migisis (eagle).

One day, a little child rose from their sleep early in the morning and noticed the eagle soaring in the distance and pictured flying with the eagle along side it. Migisi said to the child, "how are you "Little One", are you going to fly with me"?

The "Little One" replied "Migisi I will fly with you today and the rest of time". The "Little One" flew with the great Migisi, behind it. Migisi looked behind and noticed the "Little One" was missing.

Wondering where the "Little One" was the great majestic Migisi kept flying on its own. Migisi felt something had happened to the "Little One", it felt very unhappy and very sad. Migisi turned around to search for the "Little One". Migisi started a journey for the lost "Little One" - a journey of sadness, heartache, sorrow, rage, anger, broken hearts but most important of all, a journey to heal the broken spirit and hope for the "Little One"….

It was on a very warm autumn morning when a young child woke up and decided to play early. The young one noticed the little birds playing and flying with happiness so the young one sat on the stairs outside to admire the little birds. The little birds got bolder and were landing beside the young one. One of them was brave enough to land on top of its head. The little one did not move or breathe and slowly tried to reach up and grab the little bird but the little bird flew away. This is how the little ones portray the world around them - a world of innocence, happiness and full of energy and joy.

On that day the "Little One’s" world was turned upside down. The young one found out early that the world was not a very happy place to live. The "Little One" found a very harsh and degrading environment different from the one he shared with his parents, brothers and sisters that were left behind.

"Little One" could not figure out what was right any more. All it knew was violence, hate, rage and abuse beyond that which any parent could imagine for their six, seven or eight year old child. This went on and on, day after day, up to a point where the "Little One" did not even care about family, tradition, language and most of all family values. Somewhere deep down the young one can still feel something inside, something that was missing.

Every night before he went sleep, the "Little One" would slow down wondering if there was someone out there or if there was something missing. But "Little One" just stuffed it back inside its soul.

The "Little One" does not cry anymore and will not cry when it is punished for something it did not do. It will not feel anymore and will lose all sense of direction and reality. Through the eyes of the "Little One" there is no happiness and joy only to keep on fighting and survive.

One day they told the "Little One" it is time for you to go home and it wondered what’s home. Suddenly, the "Little One" was in a different surrounding, a place it did not understand, a place where children were happy and being loved by big people. The "Little One" wondered what they were doing and it fought back when someone tried to get close to it. It felt they were trying to hurt the little child so the "Little One" fought back when someone tried to touch it. The little child did not want anyone close to it or even touching.

This kind of behavior went on as the "Little One" grew up to be a young person. The "Little One" was not small any more, it kept on hurting people and was very destructive. It did not respect the other people or the things around it. The "Little One" took the drink and the drugs for many years and lived a life of self-destruction and did not realize it or even cared about its own life. For the "Little One" the street, gutters, drugs and the bottle were the only way to cope from day to day. It did not understand why it was doing the things it was doing. All it knew was, it was hurting the "Little One" inside. The only thing the "Little One" can do was to drink and take the drugs to keep the hurt from coming out.

Finally, the ‘Little One" was asked what happened when it was a child and this enraged the "Little One" more. It was afraid of this man and "Little One" wanted to hurt this man. But this man kept on coming into the "Little One’s" domain, probing and going into the past in the "Little One’s" life until the "Little One" gave up fighting.

All the years, the "Little One" only knew hate and rage and it kept this inside its body destroying the very soul that kept its life alive. All the hate, destruction and the rage within was slowly coming out of the "Little One’s" body.

"Little One" has found a way to face the fears and the demons that it was afraid of. On many occasions when it was alone or into the night "Little One’s" tears would come out like a river. Learning to cry, learning to live from day to day, most of all learning to love. Little by little the "Little One" is learning how to respect and learning how to love from the heart.

It may take the "Little One" the rest of its life to learn about love and how to love from the heart. "Little One" is now ready to begin the journey of healing and to search for a reason to live and give whatever is left to give.

…….as the great Migisi journeyed into the past it found the "Little One" with Broken Wings. Migisi took care of the "Little One" until it could once again fly on its own. If you see the eagle and hear it screaming, it has found the "Little One" and will show the "Little One" its way home to start a journey of healing.

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Hello:

Learning to face my problems head on, instead of hiding or running away from them, is a very powerful emotional experience to go through.

I am also on my healing journey to sobriety. I am trying to deal with my anger, hate and rage. But even at times I don't want to deal with them personally. But I now know these must be dealt with in order for me to break this destructive cycle.

I am submitting this article for others. I experienced this teaching while attending a sweatlodge ceremony with others. This is what I came up with. I had several heartbreaking moments when writing this article. I have written things here that will touch or relate to another individual. I have written about the many events that I went through growing up. Every statement that I wrote on there is for a reason.

I hope someone out there will understand some or even the whole article.